So, About This Whole Slowing Down Thing…

Apparently there’s a lot to learn when we stop striving!

These past few years I’ve done a serious amount of healing work. Some might have (and do) call me crazy. And maybe I am. But I know one thing: I’m definitely less crazy now than I used to be.

What’s totally crazy is how I used to live according to what I thought I was supposed to do. It’s crazy that I did things to get people’s approval. Crazy to deny my own needs. To not even know my own needs! It’s crazy that I used to spend 90% of my waking hours on a screen. It’s crazy all the processed food I ate. All the toxins I put in my body. Crazy the relationships I neglected. The abuse I allowed.

Sitting where I am today and looking at my life just 2 years ago, all of that seems totally insane.

I was caught in the wheel. Caught in the unhealthy aspects of society that I unconsciously allowed and couldn’t consciously see yet.

I am so grateful for the part of me that whispered loudly enough it was time for a change. The part of me that mustered the courage to take myself out of the wheel and step into the adventure of a lifetime, getting closer to understanding who I really am.

My journey has been exploring the layers of myself, peeling them back to get more to my core. I find that the deeper I go, the more I’m able to let go of the external noise and distractions and settle into the peace at the center of my heart. When I’m in that place, I’m reminded that everything is going to be just fine.

As long as I have that connection to my heart, I’ll be okay.

The world could be burning around me (oh wait, it is) and I can stay centered in myself, grounded with the Earth, and maintain love in my heart for myself and others.

I excitedly hold the faith that we can get through anything. I know this because I am doing this. And if I can do this, everyone can.

If I can transform my inner state to one of peace, despite the chaos around me, I can transform my outer state and ultimately the world.

Each of us holds this power.

But I am learning that I can’t be of service until I’m fully in service to myself first.

This is the ongoing work.

And of course, I still have the achiever, CEO, entrepreneur, salesperson parts of me like to trick me into thinking that external progress and action is the key to my service and happiness.

But these last few months have taught me so much about how the key to service is actually how much I am in my heart, when my mind is still, and my body is relaxed.

I’ve realized that when I push forward, faster than my body’s natural pace, I am not relaxed. I am not synced with my own rhythm, and therefore I don’t receive the clarity I so crave.

And when I slow, quiet, still, and drop into the heart, my desires unfold from within me and I know where to go next. Not from the mind. It’s from the heart.

A few months ago I was pushing to launch a group program the same week I moved into a new house. The achiever in me told me I have the capacity to do it all!

Nature had other plans for me. I got Covid. I was bedridden for two weeks and finally listened to the message to slow down.

So I took the last few months to drop into my feminine wisdom and practice the art of being, receiving, desiring.

And listening. Soooo much listening, to the messages coming from the inside.

When I listen internally, it’s clear that I don’t need to worry, push, try, strive or “figure out” what I want to do. Instead, when I slow down, I enter the flow of delicious well-being, harmony with nature, and the web of life, and I appreciate exactly however my life is unfolding.

All in perfect timing.

This is the energy I am proud to be bringing into this upcoming Chrysalis program, where I get to guide women into their own inner wisdom too.

In the creation of this program, I’ve been trusting that exactly the right people who need to be in this group will be. Now they are assembling! Eight incredible women have woven themselves into my life in unexpected and beautiful ways to join this group. I feel like a mama bear, ready to take these women into my cozy and warm den, where we can share life together and grow.

And it’s not just a learning journey for the women in the group — it’s been so expansive for me too. And it hasn’t even started!

Take last night, for example. I was tired, about to go to bed, but I realized that I wanted to send out an email to my mailing list about the 2 spots left I have in Chrysalis, hoping that two of the women on the list would join. So I wrote a “sales email” explaining how epic the group will be. I scheduled the email for the next morning, closed my laptop, and then decided to pull a card from the Sacred Rebels Tarot deck.

I chose card #20 “Softly, Softly, The Tender Touch” — reminding me of this idea to stay in my feminine magnetism to attract exactly the right people to me. It brought me back to my heart, back into my feminine wisdom, back to the place of abundance. It reminded me that the two spaces was not a lack of filling the group, but rather a space held for the perfect 2 women to join.

Suddenly my “sales” email felt too pushy. It wasn’t inviting, it was selling. So I opened my laptop again, unscheduled the email, and took out my journal to write from the heart.

That’s how this post came to be.

A lesson on the heart’s wisdom. On slowing down. On practicing magnetism.

So now, I wait to see if two women that are in my field are magnetized to the two spots left. And if not, then great, the group is exactly the way it’s supposed to be.