How I Got Here
A short story of how I started a digital media company, sold it at 25, and found my way back to myself with the help of Mother Earth.
When I moved to New York City, I had no idea how disconnected I would get from the things that make me feel the most alive.
I moved there in 2013 on a mission: to build my digital media startup into “something.” I worked tirelessly, all day and all night, to keep building it into what I knew it could become.
Within just 3 years, my cofounder and I had graduated from a tech accelerator program, raised venture capital money, built up a team of 30 people, moved into an office, expanded into a second one, organized food conferences, negotiated a cookbook deal.
This is all happening while the digital media world was being whipped around by constantly changing Facebook algorithms and new marketing platforms and the future was completely unknown.
I was...busy, to say the least.
It’s funny to look back on that time from where I stand now. On one hand I see a girl with an insanely strong work ethic, deeply motivated to bring the company’s vision into the world, and energized by the creative process of building something.
On the other hand I see a girl who sacrificed a lot for the sake of work. I neglected many close relationships, I ate like shit, didn’t exercise, got 6 hours of sleep most nights and had no interests outside of work.
I didn’t realize how disconnected I had become until I stepped off the hamster wheel.
Our company was acquired in May of 2017 by a big corporation that was our dream to work with. To our surprise, this corporation was acquired by another one a few months after ours, and our big plans got stalled. Although it didn’t feel like it at the time, this was the biggest blessing. It gave me a chance to breathe for the first time since starting the company, and realized that I needed something different. It was the first time I realized I had lost myself in the swirl of New York City, and it was time to reclaim my life.
So I moved my things into storage, packed up a carry-on suitcase and set out for an adventure through Central and South America.
Over the next year and a half, I found myself living in the Sacred Valley in Peru, trekking through the Salt Flats of Bolivia, watching the sun rise in the Amazon rainforest, eating fruits off trees in Costa Rica, singing native chants with indigenous people in Brazil, watching wild animals frolic in Ecuador, breathing the fresh air in Yellowstone National Park, and rafting down rivers in Idaho.
There are so many things I learned on this adventure, and maybe I’ll write a book about them someday, but the biggest lesson by far, the one that completely changed my life, is how to relate to the natural world.
I flirted with Mother Nature those first few months, in complete awe of her beauty and magnificence. The colors! The textures! The smells! WHAT?! How am I so lucky to witness this? I couldn’t believe I had no clue all these beautiful landscapes existed. I felt humbled, grateful, proud to be witnessing our planet’s beauty.
At the same time I was devastated -- how could I have taken her for granted? How was I so selfish in my startup life and neglected our beautiful, incredible home? And how can we, humans, be so careless by polluting her?
The truth was that while I lived in NYC, it was convenient for me to turn a blind eye to the climate crisis. I had everything I needed with the tap of a finger, the weather seemed stable enough, and I was too busy to focus on anything other than work. Other people are taking care of it, I told myself (among a million other excuses).
The reality was that I was so disconnected from nature to understand her pain, and on an even deeper level, I was ashamed to be ignoring what I knew to be a very urgent and worthy cause. So I was paralyzed and continued to numb myself by focusing on other priorities.
I had no clue that connecting with the natural world was the medicine I needed to find myself again.
While the first few months of my travels I was in pure awe of Mother Earth, it wasn’t until I spent a few weeks in the Amazon forest where I learned how to be in the right relationship with nature.
I was living with the Ashaninka tribe, an Indigenous community that has been living in harmony with nature for generations. From observing them, I learned that living with love and respect for nature and all beings is a way of life, not just a one-time spiritual journey.
I learned how to act with reverence, remembering that we are all interconnected.
The Earth is a living being just like me and you, and how I treat her is also how I treat myself and my other relationships.
I needed to clean up my act.
Cleaning my life required that I acknowledge what was unclean, unhealthy, not working for me. This was the hardest part. But when I could finally humble myself and acknowledge the negative things I let into my life, it became much easier to start rebuilding.
I looked at all the relationships.
Many looked fine on the surface, but when I dug deeper to understand the real dynamics at play, I noticed many unhealthy aspects. Like with alcohol, for example. I thought I had it totally under control, but when I started to explore why I would have a drink, it usually was being driven by something other than pure enjoyment. Same with scrolling through social media. Picking my split ends. Bingeing on desserts.
I worked on my relationships with close family members and friends to improve the energy between us.
I worked on my relationship with myself, retraining my critical voices to be more loving and supportive.
I did the work to scrape away the stuff that wasn’t serving me so I could show up in life more fully.
Then I started to open myself to a new long-term relationship with the Earth. I started tuning into her more, noticing the details, appreciating her fully for what she is. I began spending more time outside. I made a point to put my bare feet on the Earth for 30 minutes a day. I built a garden in the backyard with my dad.
Through consciously deepening my relationship to Mother Earth and opening myself to her inspiration and guidance, my life has come back into balance.
I feel more myself than ever.
My life is now an ongoing practice of acting with integrity in all areas. This is not always easy and I am far from perfect, but it is the most rewarding adventure I’ve ever been on.
As a result of living this way, my relationships are deeper, more honest and fulfilling than ever before. I say no to the people and things that don’t fill me up. I live with more gratitude each day. I eat better, sleep better, speak better, and love myself and others more. I’m more accepting of whatever happens, I’ve slowed down, I feel more gratitude and purpose. I feel connected to everything.
And best of all, I’ve gotten clarity on what I believe I’ve been put on this planet to do:
To be in service and devotion to Mother Earth
To help people enjoy life more
To protect and celebrate Indigenous wisdom
I know this is just the beginning for me, because I keep learning more about myself and the world every day.
I’m so happy to be alive right now to participate in humanity’s great transition.
There’s so much pain being felt all over the world, but I am truly grateful to be a part of this moment, because I know and trust from my own personal journey that all the toxic stuff has to come to the surface before it can get cleaned.
There is always darkness before light. Always a contraction before an expansion.
The veil of separation is being lifted and we get to experience what it’s like to reunite with the truth and the interconnection of all beings on Earth.
We get to feel what it’s like to go from division to embracing our sameness and reuniting as a global family, supporting and celebrating each other.
Earth is calling for us to apply our human gifts towards a very important mission: protecting and serving all living beings.
Not only do we get to protect the lush biodiversity and balance of our global ecosystem, but this also leads to our own personal liberation, happiness, and fulfillment.
If this isn’t the best mission EVER, then I don’t know what is…
We get to stand up for what we believe in and create the world we want to live in. I am personally passionate about living this way for my own happiness and at the same time setting an example for what’s possible.
This site is a place to share my part in our collective mission. It’s a place where I plan to share my writing, my art, my business projects, nature retreats, online courses, and whatever else I dream up that’s both enjoyable and impactful.
My goal is to continue to be a student of the world and use the platforms available to me to share my insights and learnings so I can find other like-minded people and contribute to this next phase of human evolution.
Right now, I’m working on merging nature and business through the Business (R)evolution, a community of entrepreneurs building Earth-aligned companies. You can join the conversation here. I’m also launching an online course to help entrepreneurs bring more aliveness and alignment into their businesses. If that’s you, you can join the waitlist through the button below.
Thanks for joining me on this corner of the internet. I’m happy you’re here.
K, now let’s get to work!
